Death Cafe

Last night I went to death café. It was interesting to speak to strangers about this topic because you loose the awkwardness that happens often when you talk to friends about it. Death is a leveller between people because everyone is clueless about it really, no one knows what happens so everything is just speculation. Everyone I spoke to was there for different reasons, many brought up a death they had experienced which I found odd, as for me the reasons that brought me there had nothing to do with death of someone else, probably because the only major deaths I have experienced close to me were my grandparents but I was really young when it happened. In some ways I don't even associate their deaths with my thoughts of death. Both my discussions were very different, the first being more serious and the second more sort of laughing at death in some ways. Through the discussion I was recommended to watch tales of the unexpected, in particular an episode about freezing the brain, which I intend to watch. I used the second discussion to bring up my younger self's thoughts on death, as I have realised that a lot of the old material I wrote when I was younger which I am using now, is a lot to do with death. People seemed intrigued that I had thought about death so much from such a young age, so I feel like this is something to think about. I was really interested in one woman's stories about her time as an undertaker, I think undertaking is such a fascinating career because you are working so closely with death everyday, why would you want to keep reminding yourself of death... but for me it would be fascinating to be up so close and personal to it. It's funny it always seems like people feel that talking about death or seeing death will somehow bring it closer. Why is there so much drama towards death, like birth it is just something that happens out of our control.

I swear I cannot write anymore finding it so hard to focus on anything for more than 5 minutes. I can barely form a sentence.